Day 83: Marijuana

So first and foremost, screw the haters.

And by haters, I mean, those who judge those who smoke/vapourize/ingest pot. An astounding number of assumptions regarding pot consumers are completely false. They are overblown, politically-charged, scientifically misinformed hear-say, and of the realm of discussion for individuals much more articulate than I.

I want to talk about the gratitude I have for marijuana, and have had since beginning my weaning process. And while I have, for a while, whole-heartedly endorsed and enjoyed the recreational uses for marijuana before my weaning began, I have not until now truly come to appreciate weed's medicinal value. I have (until this point) been rather closeted about my marijuana use, especially through my online presence. But I don't really feel the need to hide it and exclude it as a part of my identity anymore. That's another post though, I think.

...It is difficult to get up in the morning, and soon feel an overwhelming shifting combination of headache, nausea, stomach pain and vertigo. It is difficult to know that you will have to go most of the day like this. It is difficult to know that this will all repeat tomorrow, and the day after, and could last for up to two weeks. Shortly put, it really sucks to deal with withdrawal symptoms from an SSRI. It really wears on you, and makes it hard to get through the day not only because of the physical symptoms, but the intellectual understanding that these physical symptoms will keep going, and going, and going, for days.

Using weed medicinally for withdrawal symptoms has allowed me to get through days without the dread of feeling awful all the time. I've been able to sit and enjoy a conversation with my partner, or friends, without feeling the entire time like I was somewhere between passing out and throwing up. It has improved my quality of life during my withdrawal periods significantly. Yes, occasionally it has rendered me less articulate, or clear-headed, and more inclined to snack... but I think that's a small price to pay.


I'm now down to 5mg/day, as of last Tuesday. The next level after this is 5mg/every two days, and the one after that is a Paxil-free life. It's an exciting, terrifying, anticipation-filled thought.