Day 5

Technically I've been on 15mg since March 3rd, but since I take my meds at night before going to bed, I didn't really start to feel any withdrawal effects until March 5th.

I'm having difficulty distinguishing what exactly the effects are right now, because I've also got some kind of cold, and am also possibly dealing with allergies. Mostly I've been feeling very tired, and occasionally I'll be hit with waves of dizziness, lightheadedness, and mild vertigo. I seem to be having a harder time concentrating on things (which has already been not so good of late). My head has just been feeling kinda weird, in general. Like, a discomforting fuzziness, and sometimes slight pain either in the temples or at the back of my head.

All of this makes it even more difficult to actually be productive. When I already don't want to do schoolwork, it gets even harder to convince myself to get stuff done when I feel all weird and tired and crappy. Mostly I kinda just want to lay around and do nothing. Of course, this isn't all that different from me in my normal state.

I kinda worry that I'm just using withdrawal as an excuse to be lazy. I have interesting guilt complexes around productivity, which I struggled a lot with through some of my major depressive episodes. I would think that I was just using my crushing emotional disorder as an excuse to not get things done. I've since been learning to be more gentle with myself, and cut myself more slack. ...But I still worry I'm just being lazy.

Argh. I need to be working on an assignment that's due online at midnight. And I really don't want to work on it because my head feels all fuzzy. But I know I have to. I wonder how finishing off this semester is going to go while I'm dealing with all this withdrawal stuff...